Third year *blues* … it’s exam time!

I feel so guilty, I think I’ve used up an entire tree in tissue paper because of my ridiculous sniffles. I probably wake up my poor housemates with my raucous coughing. My head feels like a water balloon filled with porridge. I am ill, and it’s exam season.

I have written almost 10,000 words-worth of seminar papers now, and by Saturday morning it needs to be up to 13,500. Then I have the core module exam to study for next Thursday (the Anthropology of Human Violence) and then, finally, I get a break.

I was looking back at my posts about exams and assignments in first year here on BeanSprowt, and smiling to myself. Essays then were at most 2000 words, now they are 5000 (that’s around 15 pages or so pages of academic waffle to get through.) In first year I didn’t have a 10,000 word thesis to write either, on top of essays. No fieldwork or laboring literary research in the library for hours and hours, no all-nighters fueled on noodles and orange juice because you forgot to buy tea-bags. A first class honors grade was relatively easy to attain, I thought I was queen of the world with my first year results. Now? Ha, now…

In first year I wrote a whole lot of posts on here about my insomnia, and that one never really went away. Exam season still means grasping any small shred of rest I can – because somehow at night it eludes me – and trudging through papers, notes, books and other cold-ridden people sniffling at the library.

By next Thursday, Thursday the wonderful 15th, I will be free though! My Christmas still meant writing essays, but after January the 15th? This will be a real break, a 10 day break, a no-essays break, a going-home break, a record-my-music-again break.

Can’t wait, dudes.

Christmas Gifts and Christmas Joy <3

It’s Christmas Eve, guys!

An old year is coming to an end, a new year is just around the corner. My favourite date of all is January first; I love new starts, fresh beginnings, clean slates, January first is so full of possibilities! I have been blessed with a great year and can now end it with Christmassy gladness and exciting starts.

My Christmas is not joyous because of presents or a tree or Christmas food or friends and family, though those things (especially friends and family, I must say) are wonderful – but because Christmas is a time to celebrate the awesome gift of Jesus coming to this world with love despite the messes we all make – not because we are worthy of such a gift, but in spite of the fact that we aren’t worthy of it. Love is such a beautiful thing – and when we dedicate our lives to God by believing in His Son, His saving grace for us, by setting our hearts only on Him and trusting that our sins are forgiven through Jesus’ coming to earth and His death and resurrection for us, we are set free in that love.

Have a very, very merry Christmas, guys!

Lorna xx

Tongue and Staring and Too Darn Cold

As I sit at my kitchen table, with my awesome housemate and his awesome friend listening to awesome music as we do some (awesome?) study at 11.15pm (because… why not? Glad I’m not doing their course though, they have to build a website!) I thought I’d write out three random facts about me, particular to this moment because I only just this evening noticed them. Took me twenty years, seriously!

  1. I stick out my tongue when I’m concentrating. I’m that person. Oh gosh. While writing this: “thus birthing an entirely new era of government in Ireland” – part of my truly riveting and enthralling essay on unarmed Irish Gardaí – I noticed it, and then had about four billion flashbacks I hadn’t realised I’d logged into the deep recesses of my mind of me doing exactly this. I stick out my tongue when I’m concentrating.
  2. You know when you do that middle-distance stare? You’re completely zoned out, thinking about something entirely random and not connected to the moment or place you’re in at all, deep day-dreaming about rubbish… yes, when I do this, I tend to stare at people. I don’t stare at the wall, or the floor, or anything which cannot reciprocate eye contact – no, my brain which has wandered far away to think about 3D glasses and marshmallows instead of the Garda Síochána essay, decides to absent-mindedly stare at people. I think my brain likes freaking people out and alienating me from any normal socialization. I don’t share my brain’s view on this method of making good friends. I just stare at them without meaning to.
  3. I cannot regulate normal body temperature. Yes, I should have figured this out a very long time ago – but the thought just occurred to me now (as I sit, staring at people) that when I’m too hot, I’m boiling, and when I’m too cold I’m freezing. So I take off my jumper and I freeze, I make a hot water bottle and I roast, I open the window and I freeze, I put on another jumper, I roast. These might be slight over-exagerations on my methods of dealing with cold and hot (haha, hot water bttle vs. window?). I try and get used to it, try ‘the middle ground’ and nothing works. Body, why are you betraying me? It’s probably my fault actually, never mind…

Oh hey, by the way, I am calmly (stifling the excitement under Fort-Knox levels of self-control) going to mention that in five days it will be Christmas. Just thought I’d say. Did you know this? Maybe you didn’t. So I thought I’d tell you, in an excitingly calm manner. Very calm. Yes.